The Ringmaster

Joker’s Brother From Another Mother?

As we said last week the airwaves were taken over by an evil looking clown who calls himself The Ringmaster. This black and gold wearing top-hat clad clown pranced around enthusiastically and announced to Paradise City that the Jokers of the Apocalypse were being born. In response, The Joker of Gotham City took credit for the recent rash of bombings in Paradise City that killed thirty-five residents with a surname starting with ‘J’. KLEX was then hijacked and The Joker announced that if some crazy imposters want to impugn his good name, he would make the streets run with blood.

In this live feed, The Joker started hitting himself in the head with his own fist repeatedly. Between cackling madly, Gotham’s Clown Prince of Crime screamed, “I won’t crap in other people’s cities,” for about ten minutes. The Joker then looks off camera and with eyes wide, the disembodied voice of The Ringmaster complete with creepy off-kilter carousel music in the background says, “You’re one of a kind in Gotham, big brother, but Paradise City needs seven. We have goddesses mud wrestling in the clouds! Sexy, but dangerous! I… needed backup. So butt out, big bro. … or the joke will be on you…”

With a flourishing bow, The Joker excitedly grates out, “And there we have it kids. I have a family! That I didn’t want or have the chance to strangle in the crib… Looks like the joke is on me! Ta ta, kids!” His eyes narrow as he growls, “I’ll see you soon…. turn it off Harley! Turn it off!”

Subject: The Ringmaster

Not a great deal is known about the entity that calls itself The Ringmaster. It has been observed that he is probably one of the most potent psychics in the world, capable of controlling multiple people at once and able to lift a semi-truck and trailer with telekinesis. Law enforcement reports that the best in the business cannot defeat his encryption methods, reportedly keeping the likes of Oracle and The Calculator out. (Both have been hired by The Department of Homeland Security to try.) The Ringmaster tends to have almost precognitive abilities, able to recite lines of actions and reactions between sometimes incredibly complex webs of participants with tremendous accuracy.

There is some speculation that this is a function of his highly developed telepathy and mind control, but any overtures to study him or any of the other Clowns have been turned down. Surprisingly these have been rather polite, complete with letters written on quite nice parchment and stating that he is quite flattered to receive such high consideration and that he takes it as very high praise indeed.

It should be noted that any hostile approach towards The Ringmaster is always met by Carnage’s might along with The Ringmaster destroying absolutely everything the ordering entity’s life. The former director, after having his unit decimated, returned home in disgrace to find every member of his family, his friends, and any allies and contacts he had cultivated in his long and otherwise distinguished career had went berserk and committed suicide by cop.

Interestingly, those that were ordered to attack The Ringmaster had their networks of people find themselves benefiting from tremendous windfalls. Between lottery winnings, unexpected inheritances from previously unknown family members, and tax anomalies the IRS estimates that almost a billion dollars has found it’s way into the hands of those who held those dead agents and soldiers dear.

It is unclear what The Ringmaster and his Jokers of the Apocalypse are motivated by. While there is no mistake that they are ultraviolent, they also have been critical in protecting this city from the most catastrophic events of our time. The Clowns seem to know exactly how to thwart every threat, from gods and goddesses marauding to alien invasions.

The Ringmaster

Paradise City MinistryofPeace